That’s more than the government budget for health, education and welfare combined.

So unless you want your whole life and income to be in the service of corporate greed, you need a new way to lose weight. Diet pills are one affordable answer, but effective diet pills are harder to find. Take just one course of pills that actually work, and as the pounds melt away you’ll discover the most rewarding addiction in the history of man.

From then on, it’s easy – and you’re the one who gets rich. Buy some and see if I’m wrong.

The news came in from Reuters a few hours ago; “Actor Keanu Reeves was cleared on Monday of any liability for injuries a paparazzo claimed he suffered when he was struck by the actor’s car.”

Altogether, now – Yeeeessssssss!

It was blindingly clear from its very inception that this entire affair was a petulant shake-down. The ‘photographer’ saw the chance of a shot that could make him a great deal of money – and missed it. So he decided to gouge a profit by less challenging means – Fraud.

A celebrity’s life has numerous perks, but one major flaw is the legion of selfish, avaricious malfeasants who make it their aim to enrich their own lives by draining the life blood – and greater net worth – of those so benighted as to become their prey.

Here at least is one disingenuous leech who will need to reassess their plans for great wealth, and actually earn it themselves. Keanu must be greatly relieved. I wish him success in his now blameless life, and hope this case serves as an indelible warning to all those who harbor such pitiful dreams.