Thousands of people now know the benefits of such deep irrigation and practice this safe and healthy way to remove life’s less welcome residue on a regular basis. But which of the wide range of products gives the best colon cleanse?

That’s an important answer to find, because most cleaners are not cheap and regular use can also clean out your wallet. Luckily, some kind folk have now done the research and there’s plenty of advice to be had if you know where to look.

We found a link to one option, but you make the call…

Photo: Chic

Innocent users of this reprehensible snake-oil have suffered effects such as cramps, severe constipation, nausea and even liver toxicity. If you want to feel cleansed, without being nearly killed, look at that link and save yourself, or a friend some quite serious pain.

The highlight of last weekend, of course, was the football game, which was frankly amazing. A less celebrated, and far less welcome event was when NBC – apparently following TNT’s  lead – traded SNL’s faded aura of respect and regard to endear themselves to their only true love – The sponsors.

On Saturday’s show, regular cast member Will Forte was paid to present three blatant commercials for Pepsi. Each one was then made to look like part of the show so people would watch and get sucked into the ad. And he did the same thing during Sunday’s big game.

“What we’re doing is selling entertainment vehicles and marketing platforms,“said NBC’s entertainment Co-chairman, Ben Silverman. “This is where programming is going.”

That last line is a classic! Depressed by their unerring inability to create one single show whose audience might make a phone booth look crowded, NBC decides to insult and exploit what few viewers they already have.

Memo to Ben: If this is where programming is going, guess where your audience will go?

Politics is boring. American politics doubly so, as not being a Citizen means it’s purely a spectator sport. And one that, in this case has gone so far into extra innings someone should repay us with jail time at least.

But it seems even this endless snore-fest may boast a silver interior – If the Elephant wins, we lose all lose the Scarecrow.

Heidi Klum and her husband, Seal, have now joined an elite list of names who are ready to head for the ports if the GOP wins. Stephen Baldwin, Susan Sarandon [and presumably Tim?] and Michael Stipe of REM have already declared they’re set to depart. And Tina Fey has announced she’ll vacate the whole planet.

Sweet Lord, say it could be?? A sojourn by the rest could be endured with ease. But the absence of Heidi? Even the prospect should cause a parade. She spends ten years as an overpaid clothes-horse for the talents of others, and now thinks this bestows the right to hold court on the worth of contestants whose passion alone exceeds her IQ, to reach fame and success in a career she has never dared to attempt.

Four years without her. What did we do to deserve such largess? And she’d be gone before we all go Hi-Def. 1400+ days without that Teutonic nose scarring grooves in my plasma…It’s right about now I wake up and find it’s a dream.

The return of the GOP would be a disaster. But the truth of her absence would sweeten the pill.

Photo by Exfordy

Hello, and welcome to Chapter 46 of “How Google Took Over The World.” With market share for their rather wonderful browser starting to inexplicably slide, everyone’s favorite billionaire geeks have announced a new and much-anticipated tactic in their ceaseless march towards world domination: Full-length TV shows on You Tube.

They’ve just released a new widescreen player that’s claimed to be capable of producing a passable representation of the human form, rather than the rather curious, Picasso-style  monsters that have so long been their staple fare. The next logical step was content to fill them, and one of the first shows to ‘air’  will be Star Trek.

You can’t say those Google guys don’t know their audience.

You Tube’s familiar menu of short-format videos are usually free of commercials but sadly this strange new world will have ads before, after and even during the shows. To me, that’s a bad idea. Everyone – even geeks – hates ads. And Star Trek alone is over forty years old – How costly can such antiquity be??

There are several sites already online that offer TV content in various forms, and trust me – most of it’s offal! Hulu is the only one that’s captured public attention, and this is clearly Google’s reply. The world is changing and most of the change is coming by air. Digital TV is just a few months away and the restless evolution of computers, cellphones and the Internet itself means people are watching in a litany of ways. The audience is moving online, and TV Exec’s have been scared to give chase. This is a bold, first step.

Mark the date, folks. I see a day, not long from now, when your current TV will look as out of place in your home as a Tank. The day will soon dawn when your TV, computer, media players and phone will comprise a single, cohesive unit. And every part will be live and online. Our own parents would be unable to grasp it.

Personally, I relish that dawn.

Photo by MWichary

And it sucked.

It’s hard to find the words that truly express just how eye-gougingly, brain crushingly awful it quite unequivocally was, but in his column in USA Today Robert Bianco does an excellent job when he describes it as ‘a shockingly incompetent, barely coherent, ad-driven rip-off.’

I want to have this man’s children. Finally, someone in the field of media review calls out the media for inexcusably poor execution.

A great many people make a very good living and receive [and eagerly court] a wealth of esteem and attention by heaping breathless praise on witless mediocrity. Mr. Bianco is clearly the exception. He evidently finds no fear in calling a spade a spade, and a forthright opinion of such untainted veracity is a joyous relief in this insincere, egocentric profession.

The byline of this blog is, ‘The Emperor is Naked – Film at Eleven!’ And this is why. NBC can do better, which we as the audience deserve. And there is an inescapable and ongoing need for a clear and collective voice that can endure all the hype and remind the two parties of this, and it’s both a pleasure and an unplanned delight to welcome such a forthright and eloquent scribe to this sadly neglected but vital fraternity.

ARTICLEURL

Mr Bocho accuses the Networks of devolving into purveyors of programming he has no interest in providing. In other words, “Reality” series. He also tells Forbes that the Nets are obsessed with micromanaging every detail of a production…which comes as no surprise at all.

From the man who was largely responsible for “Hill Street Blues,” “L.A. Law,” “NYPD Blue,” and a string of other top-rated shows that earned the very same networks millions in ad revenues, this is a damming indictment of the state of America’s broadcast media. The sad part, however, is: 1) How unarguably right his view is, and 2) The total absence of anyone in a similar position with the courage to agree, or even speak out at all.

I mean, when was the last time you watched a quality program on a broadcast network?

Let’s say it: American television is about money. First, last and only. Not shows, not quality, and certainly not the audience – Just the dollars. And as Mr. Bochco has proven, it shows. They make intellectual chewing gum for an audience they believe possess the IQ of wool, crush any spark of originality or creativity out of it with obsessive over-management, then infest it with commercials to make as much cash as possible.

…Then they wonder why people don’t watch??

The Summer hiatus is over and so are the Games. The ‘Fall’ season could be the Nets’ chance to repent and refocus their priorities. What do you think — Will they recant and finally show us – the audience – some respect, or will they just go on as before?

Leave a comment and let’s take a poll…

Shares in the network – which has suffered dismal financial results recently – rose sharply when the news broke yesterday, and were boosted even further by comments made by Pier Silvio Berlusconi, the Chairman of Italian broadcaster ‘Mediaset,’ who own Endemol. He said the company are still debating whether to buy ITV, and had several other potential targets.

You’d better start praying that none of them are US-based.

Regular readers [Yes, both of you!] will know that I hate, loathe and detest ‘Reality’ television with a passion that defies measurement. The entire genre is a brainless, cold-blooded, profit-driven insult, designed solely to snare as many viewers as possible so they can be spoon-fed to the advertisers.

That being the case. the prospect of an entire television organization being owned and controlled by a group of people so intellectually myopic they actually believe ‘Reality’ programming is acceptable fare with which to burden your viewers’ collective synapses should leave any sane being garnished in ice-cold sweat.

If that idea doesn’t give you nightmares, try this: Given that a large percentage of US-television is comprised of ideas and formats that were originally British, can it really be long before the same thing happens here?

…Or considering the current output of NBC, is that already a rhetorical question?