The Limey Report » movie

A good protein powder can add muscle fast

thelimey — Thu, 06 May 2010 21:19:42 +0000

When the great Arnold Schwarzenegger made his big screen debut in 1977’s ‘Pumping Iron,’ the fitness industry exploded. Suddenly every nerd in mom’s basement wanted to look like a god.

Most never made it past ‘puny.’

But the supplement industry never gave up – Today, your local health food store has shelves bowed down with products that promise brawn in a can. But all you really need is a good protein powder. That and commitment will bring you results.

So if you’re tired of the paper boy kicking sand in your face, this is an item you need to check out. Start at that link and see what you think – assuming you can still lift the mouse…

Photo by: Marcelo

Can New York cost less cash and stress?

thelimey — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:32:44 +0000

Ever since Bill Pullman totally lost Meg Ryan’s attention in Nora Ephron’s 1993 classic rom-com, ‘Sleepless in Seattle,’ New York has been a magnet for lovers; Even those who could barely afford or comprehend this essential indulgence.

Without a good hotel reservation new york is a nightmare. 47-million people visit that vibrant metropolis in an average year and the range of hotels and discounts would boggle the mind. If you’re not planning a trip soon, you should. But get it professionally done so you can truly relax.

Sometimes Progress Is Good

thelimey — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:05:35 +0000

Camcorders have transformed the world of home-movies in innumerable ways. All of them good. Gone are the days of having to squeeze onto the couch to peer at short, grainy films on an ugly white screen in the dark. Today’s cameras are lighter and smaller, yet deliver hours of video and stereo sound – both in remarkable clarity.

And now we can add all the perks of HD.

Hi-Def’s broader colors and better image compression produce a improvement in video quality that’s staringly obvious to even the most casual viewer. Prices are high, but as HD and the newer hard-drive-based models grow in demand the numbers will drop to more sensible levels. At which point, you can expect the camcorder to be as common a sight as that other ‘techie’ addiction – MP3’s.

So the question is, are you ready for your close-up?

Mr. Bruckheimer’s Special Offer

thelimey — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 23:02:11 +0000

In keeping with today’s theme of shopping, the Hollywood Reporter brings us a perfect portrayal of just how irreparably woolly Hollywood’s grasp on reality has truly become. The Stock Market’s in free-fall, Hedge Funds are imploding and Foreclosures are almost a national blight. So what do you suppose is in post-production at Disney? A movie in praise of that deluded consumerist, the incurably dim Shopaholic.

Based on the novel by Sophie Kinsella, the film concerns a novice reporter with a penchant for writing but no head for figures, who’s $9,000 in debt on her plastic and still can’t seem to stop shopping. But it also delivers two unplanned surprises; 1) It’s from the Jerry Bruckheimer stable – the creative collective that launched Mr. Depp’s Pirates and turned Tom Cruise into a NASCAR geek, and 2) There are no product-placements involved.

Even accepting the fact that Hollywood’s best war-maker is now arming his leads with gold-cards, not Glocks, the absence of commerce is a sizable shock. The lead character spends a lot of her time [and even more un-earned income] at Bendel’s…yet the store has no links with the movie at all. She also wears Zac Posen in numerous scenes, but it was apparently just picked at random from wardrobe; And the absence of linkage just goes on from there.

This is either the nascent bloom of more considerate cinema, or the first creative PR in modern Hollywood times. Movies cost money and a plot like this should be ‘All-You-Can-Eat’ dining for the marketing staff. But apparently, that’s not the case.

Mr. Bruckheimer is not famous for such benign fare, but should this start a trend I may well be a fan.

Photo by Fictures

The Return of the King

thelimey — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:30:48 +0000

I’m not sure whether to hang out the flags or open a vein?

One of the best, most widely loved [and one of very few actually memorable] movies in modern Hollywood history is getting a sequel. Oliver Stone’s glorious 1987 hymn of praise to the joys and pains of unquenchable avarice, “Wall Street,” is being fast-tracked by Fox for what some might say is a long-overdue second verse.

The movie, currently titled, “Money Never Sleeps” will focus on the life of Gordon Gekko as he emerges from prison, having served his time for past indiscretions. Michael Douglas has made it known he’s interested in reprising the role that deservedly secured him an Oscar, but he’s waiting for a script before actually inking the deal.

On the surface, this is wonderful news. The first movie had a viable plot, tangible characters and an overall premise you could actually believe; Which makes it depressingly rare. And with an eleven-year gap since its iconic parent, Fox can hardly be accused of ‘cashing-in’ with a quick, trashy sequel. Even the script is being crafted by Allan Loeb who’s a former Wall Street trader, so the bloodline on this project is looking superb. The only sour note is that Charlie Sheen is not currently due to return.

You certainly can’t fault the timing. The King of Wall Street is released from jail, only to find his former kingdom imploding in inexorable meltdown. The story potential is right off the charts! As a rule I hate sequels as they’re often no more than a shallow exploitation of the public’s affection for the original film, but it sounds like we can make an exception?

I don’t know about you, folks, but I’m booking my seat. Money never sleeps. And if this film’s performance displays even half of its pedigree, until it actually opens I may not be doing much either.

Photo by Tony the Misfit

Talent Always Shows

thelimey — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:48:00 +0000

Hollywood’s creative anemia is advancing at a worrying pace.

As I reported some weeks ago, MGM are in the process of creating what they now call ‘a reinvention’ of 1980’s iconic Oscar-winner, ‘Fame.’ Nine talented, new performers have been chosen as the Students, but players of the adult roles are still in discussions. Debbie Allen will even add a nod of approval from the original with a [hopefully meaningful] cameo role. Shooting is due to start late next month.

The budget for this remake [And let's be honest, that's what it is. 'Reinvention' is just a way to say 'recycled idea' without sounding as creatively desperate as you actually are,] is $25-million. Which in Hollywood terms is pocket change! And that’s another reason why every new Actor deserves the same kind of break as this movie should give those at its core.

Any Actor who demands $50m or more just to get out of bed is an over-sized ego, with legs. And whoever who pays it is that Actor’s fool. Give the freshmen a worthwhile chance and the results can burn holes in the screen. New Actors have a passion their more experienced peers ceased to feel or care about years ago. But the $50M guys put butts in the seats, so they get all of the breaks. And that’s sad.

For those too young to remember, ‘Fame’ is the story of the joys and despairs felt by hyper-talented teens and their mentors during a year of devotion [and copious sweating] at the High School for the Performing Arts in New York. The original movie set box-office records and quite rightly collected two Oscars. I hold no such hopes for its parody’s future.

The movie will debut on September 25 and I wish its new stars boundless success. I just think Hollywood should give its nascent new talent a more worthy, original showcase.

Photo by Megyarsh

Does This Make My Ass Look Big??

thelimey — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:59:00 +0000

Those of you so blessed as to live among the resplendent glories of New York will know that two dedicated Geeks have just emerged after 123 hours in a plexi-glass bubble in Times Square, watching non-stop movies to win the “Netflix Popcorn Bowl Challenge.” Five days, fifty-seven movies, only ten minute breaks for bathroom needs, and no sleep allowed at all. None!

Susan Sarandon delivered their final challenge [her 1991, Ridley Scott-helmed yawn-fest, 'Thelma and Louise',] at the conclusion of which the two hardy winners, Suresh Joachim of Canada, and Claudia Wavra of Germany gained a new Guinness World Record, a lifetime subscription to Netflix, the ‘Popcorn Bowl’ Trophy, $10,000 each, and butts the size of an outlying planet.

I love movies to a point where the risk of needing a twelve-step program is an ominous daily reality, but I’m not sure whether to envy these people or find them professional help? Watch the video and see what you think…

Hasta la Vista, Vancouver!

thelimey — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 02:31:00 +0000

It sounds like Governor Patterson’s splendid idea for growing his city’s economy may have started a trend??

The much-criticized ‘Bailout Bill’ recently signed into law by the President includes some remarkable bonuses for those in the entertainment sphere: A mixture of tax benefits and favorable financial returns for home-made productions will keep over $400 million in the country over the next ten years. Granted, most of these perks have been in effect since 2004, but the new rules allow a lot more firms to enjoy the savings.

Supporters have been trying to get the measures enacted since May and they finally crossed the goal-line on Friday.

And the new rules received the unanimous support of the MPAA, the DGA and SAG.

My favorite part, though, is the section called ‘The Runaway Production Statute.” Make your next blockbuster entirely in this country and you’ll get special tax breaks on the first $15-million. You can get this back-dated to January if you’re already in production, and it’s extended to December of 2009.

For years, Canada’s weak dollar, easy accessibility and photogenic locations have drained millions of dollars out of this nation. The new provisions can stop the bleeding and divert those millions into this nation’s economy, creating thousands of jobs that will produce additional revenue via direct and consequential taxation. And that’s a superb idea!

Sometimes, no matter how hard they try, even a Government can get something right.

Flag photo by: René Ehrhardt

Hollywood’s newest ‘Bright, Shiny Object’…

thelimey — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:17:00 +0000

Hollywood is filled with grown men [and women] who seem to share one common weakness; An inadequate supply of toys during childhood. Stories of Directors demanding bigger, better and costlier toys for their next creative indulgence are legion. And next on their wishlist appears to be Imax.

“Batman, TDK” includes six scenes that were created in Imax as a way to lure audiences to more profitable Imax cinemas to enjoy the effect. To date, it has produced $60+ million from those screens, and several Directors have seized on this fact as consummate proof how essential it is that they get to play with this shiny, new toy.

According to Variety, Transformers 2 will include three scenes shot in Imax. Iron Man 2 will also include some Imax scenes, and several pictures in pre-production are now being considered for similar treatment.

No-one would argue that DVD’s have shredded a movie’s Box Office potential and studios need a way to get people back into theaters to watch the films there instead. It’s more profitable. But Imax isn’t it.

Audiences don’t stay home because the format is wrong. They stay home because they’re tired of intellectually vapid, comic-inspired, derivative sequels. Imax is 70mm and produces resolution you could shave with. But crud in 70mm is still crud. Make an original, intelligent movie with a strong script, a believable premise and a well-chosen cast and the audience won’t care if it’s in Super-8! Choose any other path and the fault is your own.

Transformers 2 is booked for a simultaneous debut on regular and Imax screens on June 26. Let’s see who has the mental acuity to learn this small lesson in time.

Imax photo by: Laffy4k
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A Moment of Light Relief…

thelimey — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 05:02:00 +0000

If you’re as sick of the current political circus as I am, you might welcome some light relief. Well, here it is. This is a trailer for a non-existent movie that is in more dire need of being made than any other film in the history of the medium.

Be advised: If you’re a fan of the Elephant you might pop a vein. Personally, I think it’s intelligent, funny and brilliantly done…

Head of Skate

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