People, we have a problem and it’s name is footwear. You all know my undying hatred of flip-flops, but there is another footwear technology that needs to be culled:
Shoelaces.
They were probably a smart and much-applauded idea when first introduced in the dark mists of history, but it’s now time that these life-threatening laces went the same way as vinyl records, VHS tapes and that sad 80′s fad, the fax machine.
They’re time-wasting to do up, come undone when you don”t want them to [and always at the most inopportune times] and they make your feet look like they’ve grown tuberous roots.
In an era when we can put men on the Moon, an entire entertainment center in the palm of your hand and robots on Mars is it really essential that we still manage our footwear with six yards of string??
I call for an immediate ban on the grounds of both safety and bad fashion sense, and their mandatory replacement with a far better idea…Like two six-inch nails.
Who’s with me on this?
Photo by Kay
